Is this George Washington?

So yesterday in London involved the best birthday surprise ever, someone who wanted KFC for breakfast, lunch and dinner, a woman who enjoyed stomping, a useless tube ticket, no pancakes, tooth cracking toast (almost), Ben, a lot of money spent in & Other Stories and Topshop, sweets in a yellow bag, a ‘Kardashian’ with an over active hand, two phone calls, a bus stop, an angry buzzer, a staff entrance, a ‘why are you even here atmosphere, an unwanted couple, short straw cocktails, a Reuben and pulled pork, George Washington, a tequila spillage, a service charge situation, East not West, a mile and a half sprint, sweat, a late bus, no plug points, a driver who loved the brake, no lift, a taxi and a cup of tea.
As you can see, a lot of shit went down yesterday and absolutely nothing went to plan but hey, the company was marvellous and I got the shoes I’ve been lusting after daily so it’s a win-win really isn’t it?
Now, the best birthday present ever was thrust upon me first thing and the surprise was SO worth the wait and clammy hands I almost screamed. Seriously. has only gone and booked us flights to Barcelona for a long weekend of out of this world buildings, tapas, Happy Pills, sun and red wine. Is that not the best gift ever?


Before I go off on a London tangent I just need to discuss Barcelona as I cannot stop smiling since opening the above pocket guide. There’s just so much to see and do there I just know it’s going to be a trip I won’t forget. Not only will we be gorging on patatas bravas, cheese, chorizo, prawns, bread and paella but there’ll be red wine in abundance along with the most amazing ice creams you ever did see.

Another place high on the list is Happy Pills… No, it isn’t a shop that sells illegal or prescription drugs but i suppose you could get a fix from all the sugar off the sweets. That’s my sort of fix. I love E numbers.

The thing I’m most looking forward to, however, is the beautiful scenery and architecture. Barcelona is one of the most beautiful cities in the world and the views are just dreamy. I’ll think David Bailey at all times.



Right, back to London and the brilliantly hilarious day I had with Stacey. After what was an amazing start to the day and an exciting agenda planned for London, things looked very promising indeed. Tragedy struck when the queue for The Breakfast Club meant we wouldn’t be having breakfast but dinner there. All we wanted were some pancakes god damn it. We settled upon what looked like a cute little cafĂ© with a view of Liberty. I ordered a fresh orange and toast with scrambled egg and smoked salmon… However at this point I could’ve eaten my napkin. There we were basking in the glorious sunshine and chatting about Barcelona when our food arrived… Cold. To top off the cold eggs, the toast was so hard I could possibly have cracked a tooth/smashed glass. Ideal.

To make up for this less than ok brunch I introduced Stacey to one of my all time favourites, Ben’s Cookies. This definitely did not disappoint and in fact salvaged what had been an odd morning. Ben knows how to do cookies… Especially those of the white chocolate and cranberry and chocolate orange variety.

From here was the shopping which definitely made me feel happy and warm inside again. Yes, I probably spent a little bit too much money but it could’ve been worse… I could have spent more. We also called upon Selfridges to get a pick ‘n’ mix for the road which mostly consisted of watermelon gummy bears (Stacey) and every single gummy bear (me).

Now the next section is dedicated solely to Steam and Rye for the absolute exasperation they caused us. I’m now starting to think Steam and Rye are actually ex boyfriends of Stacey and I who have clubbed together to make us look extremely needy, bitter and clingy females! mean come on you guys, if you want people to frequent your establishment you could at least act like you want it. Let me paint the picture for you… We had already had our booking for 5pm confirmed before even travelling to London only to find the door firmly shut with no sign of it opening any time soon. We rang twice to be told that the food wasn’t served until 6, the doors were open but we probably wouldn’t want to eat before anyone else arrives. All I will say is I didn’t want a nice ambience I just wanted some calories in my face… Is that too much to ask? After attempting to go into the nearby Revs and getting kicked out for not being a member of a hen party, sitting in a bus stop for ten minutes and almost screaming with frustration we decided to ring the buzzer… Not once but SIX times before being greeted with what seemed like a very disgruntled individual. At this point I was that hungry I even tried to get in through the staff entrance. I admit, this wasn’t my finest moment. The decor, bar, food and cocktail menu were all great thankfully and that made up for it ever so slightly.

Check out the cheese on my

Pulled pork and a huge bun




As uhmazing as the cocktails were I did appear to pull the short straw on every single one… If you’re planning on trying it for yourself please make sure you choose the Five Dollar Shake.
If what you’re after is a place to eat but have a terrible experience then Steam and Rye is definitely for you. If you love service with a smile then this definitely is not the place for you. Just to give you an idea, all but one person who worked there looked like George Washington the entire time we were there.


“George has something he would like to say”
“This is George Washington isn’t it?”
“Look how big my cocktail is”
“We aren’t paying this service charge”


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